Wednesday, April 29, 2015
I can't believe it. Are you really gone? How could you do that? We need you here. Jason and Braxton need you here. God, it isn't fair. You are so young and so full of life. My heart has a huge ache in it right in the spot where our friendship lived and I already miss you so much.
Only 8 years ago, I moved down to Marshfield and you and I hung out together. I remember times in my apartment, visiting my friend Joy, going to Wausau shopping together. Then when you and Jay got married and Dave started working for Burkey's we did even more together: camping, campfires, out to eat, hanging out at each other's homes. I remember catching that first glimpse of Braxton and he was so cute and it was so amazing to see you become a mom.
You were there for us when Nicole was born, coming to visit us on the awful snowy day, bringing us coffees. I remember that you asked the second time to hold Nicole and that blessed this sad mommy's heart who was so glad to see my friends able to love on and hold my dear little angel. You listened to me as I talked through my grief.
And then you came to see us when Amber was born and we talked about how fun it was going to be to have our babies so close together in age and you were so excited about your little baby boy.
You were so full of life and energy. You loved your men and took such good care of them. You were such a good mom and wife and it was so fun to compare decorating ideas with ytou.
And now you are gone. And my mind can't comprehend this. I got out my outfit that you gave Amber and wore it on her today and I will wear it as often as I can until she outgrows it. I had to go look and see what you gave me at the Bethany baby shower so I would know what I wanted to hang on to and treasure.
I told Dave last night, I can picture you scooping up Nicole and hugging her and talking to her and then when Bentley came to join you, I can only imagine your delight in seeing your little newborn son. But my mind says, "God, you have enough people in heaven. We still wanted Cheryl here with us." But I have to remember that God does know best and I will try to trust Him to take care of Braxton and Jason for you.
Cheryl, you will be missed, but I am looking forward to the day when we can see you again. Until then, I will keep walking the path for God and trusting Him to guide us through this grief maze and I will pray that God will keep Jason and Braxton in His arms and hold them close and bring them comfort.
This is not a great picture, but it's the last one I have of you.
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