Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Marriage Challenge: Week 2 and 3

So I was going to post once a week on this, but I never got to it last week and that was probably all right. I pretty much bombed it all last week and not in a good way.

Last week's challenge was to Speak Kindly.

This week's challenge is to Touch Intentionally.

So when you first started dating, you would never have thought to yell at them or wait, I don't yell. I just say in a perturbed tone of voice, "You know you could help do this." Or "why are you home so late again?" Etc. etc. You know what it is for you. You would have never done that when you were dating. In fact, you were probably appalled if you saw another lady speaking that way to her husband or vice versa. And now, you are 5, 10, 15, 20 years into marriage, 1, 2, 3+ children later and kindness can sometimes be the farthest thing from your mind.

I believe it is Ravi Zacharias that says, "There is never a reason to be unkind." So I would like to make a thousand and one excuses for why I failed last week, but the fact is, there isn't a good reason, there isn't any reason to be unkind. So what if I was up a million times at night, all night long, every night of the week, (mild exaggeration inserted here for effect), and I was tired, and the baby was crabby, and the husband didn't come home, etc. etc. etc. I still had no excuse for being unkind. Because really, if you think about it, it could become a vicious cycle. I get frustrated and unkind when D doesn't come home early, but then really, with that kind of treatment, why would he want to? Think about that for a little.

Okay, so I'm working on it this week, to speak kindly IN. ALL. CIRCUMSTANCES. REGARDLESS.

And then this week's challenge to touch intentionally. I sort of get this, but not really. With only one child, I don't get to the end of the day very often and feel as though my private space was invaded the whole day by a clinging child or two or three. For the most part, Amber likes to be right beside me, but I don't necessarily have her clinging to me, unless of course, I'm making supper. Okay, not always there either. However, I do like my space at the end of the day or the middle of the day, etc. where I can just be by myself and chill out for a little.

Which brings me to a totally unrelated subject: how to handle bedtime. By the time bedtime rolls around, I just want her to go to bed already. I don't want to go through the whole process of getting her undressed, keeping her from destroying the cupboard contents, getting her teeth brushed, reading her her story, etc. etc. I find my patience wearing thin and everything is "No." "Don't do that." "Don't touch that." "Sit down." And well you get the idea. I think there has got to be a better way. And yes, praying for a last final round of patience would be a very good place to start. And I know some of you are saying, "Well keep the cupboard door shut." Yes, I know, but she goes in there to get her toothbrush and toothpaste and can't always resist touching or knocks something over while she's getting her stuff out. It's all a work in progress. But if anyone has a streamlined bedtime routine, I would love to hear it.

And to all of you: have a great week.

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