Thursday, August 4, 2016

This is What It's All About

The day was long, but the to-do list was longer. There was laundry to do and bills to pay and bookwork to enter. There was food to make, cupcakes with yummy frosting and rice krispy bars and then bread because why not choose today to make bread. It doesn't matter that fresh homemade bread hasn't been churned out in close to two years, but today is the day to change that. Then there's the random spur of the moment decision that the birthday cake I need to make for Sunday should be an ice cream cake and there's ice cream on sale at Gordy's and so I should go today and get said ice cream. Nobody please tell me that WalMart's ice cream is always cheaper because I might just sit down and cry.

So it's not really that long of a list and really didn't take that long to do, but the other factor that wasn't considered here was a little 17 month old girl who decided that today was the day she needed mom to sit with her on the floor while she played, that she really wanted more of Mom's attention than Mom wanted to give. Now I don't mind sitting on the floor with her if I can read my book and generally that works.

But evening rolled around and the grumpies were hitting hard. The nap had been short and long ago and so, of course, the perfect solution is an early bedtime. Ha Ha. So after repeated attempts and much crying, we had a snack, because what if hunger was causing the uneasy settling. It's not like it's normal for her to wail her eyes out in her crib.

We rocked and we sang and then we tried again and still wailing. So what do you do when you don't know what's wrong? You get the Tylenol bottle out and you give her a dose. Then the rocking and singing commenced again along with a cuddly blanket and soothing backrub.

Then it all came together. The cuddling changed to a relaxed posture and eyelids dropped shut and my little girl fell asleep in my arms. Now for many of you moms, that's nothing to write home about, but this is the girl who we have to basically let cry herself to sleep at church because she will not just go to sleep when we are holding her. This is the girl who doesn't do much cuddling except just before bed and never to the point of going to sleep. But there she was, sitting upright, sucking her pacifier, leaning into her security blanket, and wrapped in a pink fuzzy blanket, and I was singing, "We Have This Moment" and the tears came to my eyes. Yes, this was a moment, a moment when time could stand still and I rocked a little more just treasuring this moment of peace and quiet and my little girl contentedly sleeping, with only the occasional crying hiccup that accompanies that first sleep after a bout of crying.

These moments make the long days, the longer evenings, especially when Daddy is gone, it's these little moments when it all comes to come together and I am reminded that it's worth it, it's so worth it.

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Be the Gift by Ann Voskamp

Let your brokenness be turned into abundance Broken, something none of us like to be, but if we want to love and live and love and live ...