It's Mother's Day Again

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Yup, today  is Mother's Day. I am a mom and I have a mom, but Mother's Days have been rather painful over the past few years and, in all reality, today doesn't necessarily promise to be better. I know that is morbid and I am not asking for sympathy, just stating how Mother's Day is not necessarily equated to wonderful happy charming moments.

I do have a great mom. She does so much for me and I am so grateful. Just this last week, she helped me sew two dresses for an upcoming wedding. I know it wasn't her cup of tea, but she did it and they look beautiful. Mom and I spend a lot of time sewing quilts together and it is always fun. I am so blessed. She is always willing to do pretty much anything for me.

So my Mother's Day angst has nothing to do with my mom and for that I am grateful. It started about 5 years ago, Mother's Day 2013. It was my first "official" Mother's Day only my baby had already flown to heaven. A couple people remembered and that was special.

Mother's Day 2014 was the due date of baby number two, only that baby was already playing with her sibling. That was tough. The question most prominent in my mind was, would I ever get a real Mother's Day?

Mother's Day 2015 was the day we buried my dad. Yes, that year I had my precious little baby girl, but there was so much pain as well. So many questions of why, but I guess Dad got to spend Mother's Day with my babies!

Mother's Day 2016 and 2017 were good. My little girl was growing and learning and keeping life interesting.

And now here we are at Mother's Day 2018 and it's another sad day. This is the first Mother's Day, D will celebrate without his mom and that makes my heart break. And it brings back the why questions again. I know, in the natural passage of time, the parents will pass before the children and we will be celebrating Mother's Days without them, but why when we are still so young? My children will never remember their Grandma Glick and that breaks my heart too. And yet, I don't wish her back. And there's no point in pondering the what-ifs and if onlys, but I do wish for more time with her.

And so this Mother's Day, don't just assume it to be a great celebration for everyone. For many people it is, but there are those who are silently grieving a loss. It might be their mom, their mother-in-law, their child (either through miscarriage or through a failed adoption) or just some other sadness that is associated with that date. But neither do I want to dampen your joy. It is good to celebrate Moms, yes it absolutely is. But it can be tough as well. This year, in our family alone, there are two in-laws who are "celebrating" their first Mother's Day without their mothers.

Okay, I don't know if this is anything to anyone, but it is what is on my heart.

And to you Moms, yes Happy Mother's Day. May you take joy in the littles or big ones that call you Mom. It is a tremendous privilege and a great responsibility.


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