Gravel Road Musings

Social media is full of them, those pictures of cute, little, missing teeth first graders all excited and eager gripping a lunch box or a sign board or something that indicates that they are off to the big world of school. Sometimes fear or anxiety shines through in their eyes or the way they grip their lunch box in a tight, white-knuckle grip, but mostly it's excitement that glitters off the page, causing even the casual social media scroller to smile and remember their own first days of school.  But what we don't see, what is kept hidden away in broken hearts are the mothers who hop onto Instagram to see what's happening with their friends and come across these cute little first graders and without warning their heart is ripped open again and the tears stream down their cheeks.  Because this was the year, this was the year their own little first grader was supposed to be going to school. This was the year they were going to have their own pictures to post on Instagram, th...

The transformative power of faith and community when life is hard. While I think we are doing better now, for too many years I believe, grief and loss has been viewed as taboo subjects. You had a miscarriage? Well, please do not talk about it. That was barely a baby and certainly not worth grieving. You lost a job? Again, not worth mentioning. The only grief that seemed okay was the death of a real live person and even that you should quickly grieve, get over, and get back to normal life. I recognize I may be exaggerating this out of proportions and yet I think there is truth here. Ashleigh opens the door for a better way: grief is to be mourned. People should come along side the person that is grieving regardless of how "big or small" the grief may be. They should come along side, not to offer advice and tips for moving on, but show they care and to walk beside them in their sorrow. Ashleigh points out a lot of areas of grief that we might not think about on a regula...

Grieving with Hope after Miscarriage and Loss Let me start by saying I recommend this book to everyone who has lost a baby, whether through miscarriage, stillbirth, infant death, failed adoption, etc. This book gives you permission to grieve while also pointing you very strongly to one who will comfort you in your grief. I need to start carrying sticky notes with me when I read books like this so I can mark sections that speak to me. So often when I go back to find them, I can't find them anymore or they don't stick out to me like they did. There were just so many things in this book, I could resonate with. Having lost three babies as well, so much of what she said resonated with me. I loved that they named their babies, that they took the time and effort to find out whether they were boys or girls, and most of all, that they allowed themselves to grieve. So often miscarriage, especially in years gone by, has been such a hush hush thing. Nobody talks about, you are just s...