Gravel Road Musings

"Sometimes I feel more guilty for what I'm not than grateful for what I am." Lysa TerKeurst You know it's been awhile since you started posts, when you aren't even really sure what you were thinking when you go back to finish them. So who knows if this post will go anywhere close to what I was thinking when I originally typed out that quote.  But there is so much truth in that quote, at least for  me. I can shoot myself in the foot and paralyze myself simply by feeling that I am not enough. I will apologize over and over for something simple and even silly, but it makes me feel like,... well, I'm not sure what it makes me feel like. It might make me feel like a martyr, like if I apologize ten times, preferable with some tears, it will make it all go away, whatever it was in the first place.  What it usually does is it sends down this shadow over the circumstance. The evening turns a little sour, my mood becomes grumpy and I manage to ruin everyone's ...

One sister is a professional cooking show host, the other works for an NGO conducting community health programs in post-Communism countries. They have drifted apart, but are united over their aunt's death and an unusual proposition. Overall, the book was disappointing, if I'm truly honest, and I don't like leaving less than positive reviews. The positive thing about this book was how the sisters, who were twins, did come full circle back to being close like they once were. That part is the redeeming part of the book and the reason I wanted to read it in the first place. So in that sense, the book was good. However, there is no real mention of God or church. There are a few quotes by Aunt Mae about God and a couple mentions of prayer, though more as a passing notion. Then there is the baptism of their children in the epilogue, leading me to think they were nominal Catholics. They mention the baptism taking place in the church they attended with their parents twice a ye...

It was a beautiful evening, the kind you want to capture and hold close and remember. The sun was setting after a warm day, the wind was sending a cool breeze making the outdoor temperatures pretty much perfect. The children were enjoying being outside. The clouds were doing a dancing act in the sky. In particular, one big fluffy cloud kept being illuminated by the lightning streaks from behind it. It was fascinating to watch. The evening was further commemorated by a smore party around the first true campfire of the season. There were all the yummy smore fixings: graham crackers, marshmallows, chocolate bars, Symphony bars, Kit Kats, Candy cane bars, peanut butter, and nutella. This was a real "smoregasboard". The wind was wreaking a bit of havoc with the smoke sending it swirling in all directions around the campfire making sitting down comfortably in one place a practice in perilous times. It was better to stand and be ready to move on around the circle when the smok...

If you are looking for a fiction book that isn't just full of boy meets girl, they have a fight, make up and then live happily ever after, this is the book for you.  This is Heidi's second book she's written and it's even better than her first one and I enjoyed her first book, "Freedom's Ring". This book takes a very tough subject, school shootings, and, while it's all fiction, to me it helps me to see the shooter and their family in a different light. It also flashes back to the Culper Spy Ring that was in action during the Revolutionary War by following the fictional character of Mercy Howard, who was part of that ring. First, let me say, that the theme of the book, what all the main characters were finding was a hiding place in God. They were recognizing how much they needed God to get them through the tough situations they were in, whether it was dealing with being in an enemy's prison ship or dealing with the consequences and wrong choic...

Finding Truth in a Universe of Opinions Did you know the word adamant actually started out as a noun? We tend to think use it now as more of an adjective or adverb, as a stubbornness or firmness, likely depending on whether you are the one using the word about someone else or about yourself!! :) :) I am adamantly opposed to being called stubborn, for example. Anyway, the original word adamant started as a noun and was the name of a mystery stone, an elusive mineral hypothesized by the Greeks. It was to be a stone that would be impenetrable and unbreakable. The diamond has been the closest thing to this adamant and occasionally the two words are used interchangeably.  So take this new meaning and think of Jesus. He is our Adamant, the rock that will not break, our security, if you will. "Real truth is a rock. Adamant. Indivisible. Immovable. Invincible. Jesus is truth. And I propose that Jesus is the Adamant." And from that, Lisa builds a book around standing strong for w...

I got a birthday card on Sunday. I don't remember what all it said, but I remember this: there was a comment about being a mom and then this phrase, "You're doing a good job." And then I cried. How did this friend know I so needed to hear those words? Though the card had been written earlier, did she see the tears that were threatening as the church service wound to a close and my mom heart was in shreds as I felt like such a failure? I mean, really, who can't control their three-year-old for a two hour church service? Then, in the afternoon, I was listening to a new favorite podcast,  Coffee and Crumbs  . (Just to clarify, I use new favorite loosely, I pretty find a podcast that I like and then try to listen to a whole bunch of them, often starting back at the beginning, and then life happens and they move off my radar and it might be months before I even listen to another podcast) The episode was called  It's Their Day Too  and the gist of the conversation...

And the Truth that Sets Them Free You've heard the phrase "small but mighty". I think that is what applies to this study guide. While it's about the same size as the book itself, it is thin, maybe a half inch or so, but it is packed with thought-provoking challenging questions and comments. Set up to be worked through with a small group, it can also be worked through by one's self. Each chapter is equal to a chapter in the book. There's first a little intro to the chapter and then the chapter is divided out into five days. Each day there is assigned reading from the book "Lies Women Believe", and then there are questions to answer and Bible verses to look up. For each day there are also subheadings of Realize, Reflect, and Respond. The final section in each chapter is set up to be done with your small group or Bible Study group, but if you are doing the book study on your own, then you would spend another day or two on this section as well. Tha...

Finding a Big God in the Little Moments I love Melanie Shankle. If you haven't read Sparkly Green Earrings or Antelope in my Living Room, you should. Just funny good reads. I think, for this book, I have simply read too many devotionals back to back and at too fast a pace. This book had some definitely good things in it, but it didn't do as much for me as it could have. I do think if I would read them one a day like they are meant to be read, I would get a lot more out of the readings. This book is more on the light side of light. While it has good thoughts, they would tend to be more surface level, which is pretty much what I would expect from reading Melanie's writings. I don't say that meanly, I think we need the light and the deep in this world and so we need both kinds of writers. That being said, I did appreciate how she could take everyday experiences and relate them to a spiritual lesson. I enjoy reading authors who can do that. She talks a lot about f...

Radically Pursuing Each Other in Light of Christ's Relentless Love Foreword by Gary Thomas Fiercemarriage.com for more info Another marriage book you might say. And yes, that is exactly what it is. But every marriage book I have read has a new or different slant or a different way of saying things that brings out a point in a way that makes you go, ah-ha. And this book really was no different. I wouldn't say this book had as many ah-ha moments for me as some do, but there were definitely things that made me stop.  For example, on the chapter on Dealing with Discord there is a subheading called "Fight Naked". Now that will make you stop for a second. But there are two elements here, one truly is fighting naked. They would say it's one of the best pieces of advice they ever received because it's really hard to stay mad when you are naked. It just makes me laugh to think about trying to argue like that. But the other thing is the intimacy level. In a ma...

Yup, today  is Mother's Day. I am a mom and I have a mom, but Mother's Days have been rather painful over the past few years and, in all reality, today doesn't necessarily promise to be better. I know that is morbid and I am not asking for sympathy, just stating how Mother's Day is not necessarily equated to wonderful happy charming moments. I do have a great mom. She does so much for me and I am so grateful. Just this last week, she helped me sew two dresses for an upcoming wedding. I know it wasn't her cup of tea, but she did it and they look beautiful. Mom and I spend a lot of time sewing quilts together and it is always fun. I am so blessed. She is always willing to do pretty much anything for me. So my Mother's Day angst has nothing to do with my mom and for that I am grateful. It started about 5 years ago, Mother's Day 2013. It was my first "official" Mother's Day only my baby had already flown to heaven. A couple people remembered ...

An 8-week Bible Study for a Fresh Encounter for Deeper Faith I love these Bible study books and have been collecting them way faster than I have been getting through them.  There's something about a pretty book with Bible reading, thoughts, questions to answer, etc. that makes me happy and, more importantly, gives me a focus for my personal devotions. Becky says this in her intro: "I wrote this Bible study for those of you who want to know, love and trust Jesus more deeply-- and for those of you who have questions about who Jesus really is and are asking, 'Is He really who He says He is?'" There are four sections to each week: Explore, Reflect, Memorize, and Praise.  Explore is a guided study of a passage or passages where Jesus says, "I Am".  There are also references to the Strong's Concordance.  Reflect is a section for personal growth and honesty. Memorize is just that, memorizing Scripture. And Praise is a section devoting to praising an...

Sobering, challenging, thought provoking, a game changer. All words I could use to describe this book.  I may have found my new baby gift to give. Imagine being given a jar of 936 pennies and being told to take one out every week until your baby turns 18. Doesn't that just bring a somberness to raising a human from baby to adult? Doesn't it give more meaning to making each day count? What will you think about when you take out that penny? Will there be happy memories or only regrets?  This book takes different aspects of time and shares stories and inspiration to go along with each idea. And at the end of every chapter, there are questions to reflect on. This book was just such a challenge to me as we parent our three year old and eight month old. So much of their lives, Lord willing, are still ahead of them. And then as I think of my three little angels in heaven, who never got to spend even one penny from their jar, I am reminded that life can so easily be snuffed out. A...

I'm reading the book "936 Pennies Discovering the Joy of Intentional Parenting" right now. This is what is causing this deeper introspection into the world of intentionality. I am loving the book and am thinking it, along with a jar of 936 pennies may be my new baby gift to people!!  You can find out more about the book when I write my review, which should be in just a few days. Only two chapters left. So this morning, the challenge was to see life and make memories and preserve the memories with words rather than pictures, how sometimes we get so caught up in photographing the moment that we miss the moment. The blocks are scattered on the floor, remnants from failing to pick up the toys the evening before. The paper lay spread out at my feet. On the floor was a little girl, still dressed in her pajamas, the ones from Aunt Hannah.  She sat there studiously studying her Curious George book. It's one she has seen many, many times before, but it struck me this morni...

I don't know if I have harped about this on here lately, I can't remember, but this is something that can almost smother me with its intensity.  Am I living intentionally? Am I being an intentional mom? An intentional wife? An intentional friend? I mean, really should I have prioritized those or just listed them randomly.  I feel like to really be an intentional mom, I have to remember intentionally all.the.time.  Okay, is everyone sick of intentional yet? But seriously, it is something that haunts my days, that I think about in the still of the house when both children are napping, when I read books that talk about intentional parenting, when I stop and consider how quickly my three year old is becoming more preschool than toddler and how my baby is not so infant anymore. And it does haunt me. I like to see production, I like to see visible results that my day accomplished something. I thought about that yesterday when my three-year-old was exhibiting characteristics...

Stories and Lessons from John Wooden's Summer Basketball Camps I'm not a sports fanatic. I had never even heard of John Wooden before I got this book and here he is known as the greatest coach of all time.  So obviously, I haven't read any other books about him or by him, but from reading this one, he sounds like an amazing man. A man with a heart for God, first and foremost, and then a heart for every one of his players, talented or not. This book emphasizes the summer basketball camps he led for many years. There are lots of personal stories from the people who attended these camps and one central theme runs through it all. John Wooden cared about his campers, he cared about people, he always had time for people. You sent John Wooden a request for his Pyramid of Success or a question about coaching and he was most likely to send you a handwritten letter in response. He had no tolerance for swearing or not playing as a team. He had a way of critiquing players witho...

A Friendship with Jesus Now and Forever Illustrated by Sumiti Collina Based very loosely on the popular song, "I can Only Imagine" this is a beautiful children's book, written in rhyme, that tries to imagine what heaven is like and what God is like. "I can only imagine what God thinks is fun. We could jump in the lake and soak in the sun, Splishing and splashing and shouting, 'Hooray!' Would God like to float on a warm summer day?" It starts out with "The more I imagine, the more I wish I knew."  How true that is. Heaven, in so many ways, seems a mystery. We know it will be amazingly wonderful beyond anything we can imagine and yet it can feel so stiff and far off too. While a lot of the things in this book seem far fetched, who really knows? Quite possibly there could be pancakes in heaven, they would be the best ever, of course. The one thing I like about this is it makes heaven seem real and personal. It feels like something chi...