Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Kissed by a Mouse

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Once upon a time in the beautiful land of "NeverRains" there lived a handsome man with his equally stunning young bride and their adorable little cherub. They lived in a quaint, charming cottage at the edge of a luscious and prosperous corn field. They were madly and deeply in love and would race all over the house in an effort to be the first to do something for the other. Meals were always sumptuous affairs, but never did anyone over eat. Evenings could find them peacefully rocking on their porch rockers or going on a leisurely walk out the back, twisting, winding road.

One day this lovely couple decided to go on a little vacation to "SunAlwaysShines", so they packed up their minimalistic belongings and loaded it into their chariot and off they went. On the way to their destination, they stopped at a specialty store where free donuts were being offered on Saturdays and where there was fresh baked goods and also dented and bented items for sale. After making several wise and frugal decisions and loading the products into their chariot, they were once again off and away.

They had a lovely weekend with the prosperous brother and his immaculate housekeeper wife and their lovable bunch of kiddos who were fast growing up to be charming young men and lady. Also in attendance was the very stunning younger sister who had just returned from a far country in order to begin her duties as a school teacher. Much ado was made over the ruddy younger brother who was the same weekend, in another part of the country, getting to know a lovely young lady of whom the rest of the family knew nothing about. This caused some consternation among the brothers, but they were also equally happy for them. Time was spent laughing, playing games and catching up on the local news from that part of the country.

At last the weekend was over, and with much love and laughter, the extended family parted ways with well wishes and promises of meeting again. The handsome man turned his chariot toward home and the happy, much-in-love couple reminisced and related happy experiences the whole way home. A small stop was made for some health food so that a meal would not need to be worried about immediately upon their arrival home.

They reached their charming cottage and everything seemed calm and at peace. Belongings were unloaded and it appeared that the minimalist had turned maximist, but stuff was unloaded and everything was being appropriated to the correct location.

But then, the mouse appeared and the clock chimed midnight. Mouse turds were found scattered through out the house, bark from the orchid plant was strewn about and other plants had been rousted from their home of dirt. Suddenly the in-love couple in their charming little cottage began to worry that their cottage might not be so charming.  The mouse traps seemed to have diminished in supply. The grumpy, whiny wife yelled up the stairs at her handsome husband saying that there was a mouse in the storage room. Handsome husband wondered how he was going to deal with it and in the meanwhile, charming cherub starting working the peanut butter in a different mouse trap.

Finally, all was calm, traps were set and there was potential for the handsome couple to return to their charming cottage, and then "snap" went the mouse trap. The chubby wife went to go see what was up and came upstairs to inform the man that there were two mice caught already and no, she wasn't going to do anything about it, but she did pull front the microwave cart so man could get behind it.

Again, at 2:30 a.m. wife checked one mouse trap and confirmed dead mouse and then went back to bed, leaving man to check and empty ALL THREE  of them.

So finally morning dawns. Handsome husband is gone to work where he provides well for his household and the Proverbs 31 wife oversleeps a little and then lumbers downstairs, bleary eyed and ready for her coffee. But lo and behold, can you believe it? All Three of the mouse traps are full.

Now, you must note that once upon a time when said handsome man and beautiful woman tied the knot there was an unspoken agreement in those vows that the beautiful woman would never have to empty a mouse trap, so tired and crabby woman calls husband who only tries to remind her that she has life good while he, on the other hand, is left to go out in the pouring rain to provide for his household. Good byes were said and said woman cries at the lack of caring that seemed to be exhibited for her extreme predicament.

So, she prays for courage, looks on YouTube for how to set a mouse trap and proceeds to empty and reset three mouse traps. Then she admits it only to herself that it really wasn't that bad and goes to town and buys 8 more because she has no intentions of running out of traps again while handsome husband is gone working. Because bad or not, she wants to return to her charming cottage and become that beautiful, skinny woman with the handsome husband and the adorable cherub and she just wants to live happily ever after, except for the newly discovered leaking kitchen sink and the pipe from the roof that leaks in beautiful woman's closet when it rains too hard.

Then the clock strikes 8 and 12 hours have passed since the last mouse sighting and peace reigns once again in the charming cottage.

Then this post was written and published early because handsome husband requested it and all charming wife wants to do is please her husband!!!

And they lived happily ever after.

>>Many parts of this story have been embelished for the sake of a store

1 comment:

  1. Oh that was rich. Sorry about the mouse!

    ReplyDelete

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