Of Silently, Of Babies Gone too Soon,

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I've been reading in the Psalms lately in my journey through the Bible and there is so much in there. This morning one word grabbed my attention, "Truly my soul silently waits for my God." Psalm 62:1. The word silently is what struck me. How often do I do that? I'll wait all right, but you can guarantee I will be telling people about it and complaining and asking the age old question, "Are we there yet? or done yet?"

What does it mean to silently wait? I think of this word as a quiet, a calm, a trust, a dependence on God. I don't think it means to do nothing, but I do think it means to be quiet and not complain about the wait. This is hard. I have this idea that if I have to wait, others should know about it, they should know that I'm not just sitting around doing nothing, but I am still waiting. Why is this so hard? Why do I worry about what people will say about the journey God has called me to? It's my journey and it's going to look different from the next person's. It has to, we are each unique.

The rest of the verse says, "From Him comes my salvation."  Ah, that's what we are waiting for. I didn't do a word study or anything, but I would take this to mean more than just the saving from sin and death. In the context of the Psalms, I would take this to mean a saving from enemies, a saving from a hardship, etc.  God is there to save me, but it's not always on my time table and what am I going to do while I'm sitting in the waiting room? I want to ponder this word silently.

In the past week, I have heard of two babies who have left this earth too soon. One was carried to heaven as a 15 week miscarriage, a precious little boy. The other was a 14 month old little girl who spend the entirety of her life in a hospital and just as her parents were ready to take her home, God called her to her eternal home. I can't understand the why's of all of this. I have lost a baby to miscarriage and I have known the pain of burying my little girl who was born too soon to live on this earth, but I cannot imagine this grief of having lived life completely devoted to your little girl for over a year and then having her taken from you. The grief, the pain, the loss, the emptiness--I cannot fathom. Pray for both of these parents. Grief is such an individual journey and often is done silently because people don't always understand. I know grief, but I won't pretend to know what these families are facing because it is different.

So to Paula O. and Emma, if you read this, from one mom's heart to another. I care. I pray for you and I ask Jesus to hold you tight in His arms as you walk this roller coaster ride of grief. May you find his strength and comfort surrounding you and giving your strength to take each step forward knowing you are loved and cared for and lifted up to the throne of grace.

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