Thursday, July 7, 2016

Love Sacrifices

First off, I want to give kudos to all of you moms out there who have more than one child.  I say "Good Job" "You guys rock", etc. etc. Even to those moms of only one child, you rock too. I was thinking I was going to veer off my Love tangent this week to talk about something I'm fighting, but then I realized that it fit in perfectly with one of the laws of love.

Love is sacrificial. 

I'll say it: mothering is hard work and I know I have nothing to talk about yet. I have a 16 month old child. It's probably about as easy as it's going to get, but I've been fighting a bit of burn out. Said 16 month old (see below pictures) is adorable and cute and yes I know I'm prejudiced. But said 16 month old is high energy, go-go-go-go all the time. It's fun. I love this age. So in some ways I am enjoying being a mom more than I ever have before and in some ways I am just exhausted.

I love watching her learn new things. Yes, sometimes digging around in grease on lawn mowers while mom chats with her land lady isn't the best of ventures, but it all cleans up. Yesterday for the first time, she finally acknowledged correctly where her nose, ears, eyes, and hands were. Normally all such questions were answered by pointing to her mouth.
 I love watching her mind process things. Dave will come home and in less than two minutes, and I don't think I'm exaggerating, I may even be generous, she will grin at him maybe, point to the dogs (because somehow Dave coming home is always equated with needing to point out the dogs), bring him her ball, bring him her doll, etc. etc. This is not every night, necessarily, but one night in particular she was moving with lightning pace from one object to the next and Dave said, "She's just played with 4 toys in less than 30 seconds." Yes, dear. Welcome to my world.

The other Sunday, we had some overnight company and he mentioned having seen a study done somewhere where a child should only have 150 toys total from birth to 8 years old. It helps them develop their imagination if they don't have so many toys to play with. It made me stop and think a bit about my need to buy her toys, even if I think they are educational toys. Most days, I could put everything away but her doll and accessories, her car, her ball and her shape bucket and she would never notice the rest of her toys are gone. It's some food for thought to consider as I go garage saling this summer. 

 So so far, I've just discussed the fun side of where I'm at this morning, but it's been a couple hard, hard weeks. I was gone for a week and then with VBS every evening for the next week, I felt a little like a single mom, so the next week I took it out on everyone around me. Nice of me wasn't it? Anyone, I think we have worked through it and so far this week, I have a better perspective, most of the time.
 Now, this morning was cause for concern. We watched the fireworks last night which Amber loved, but it meant she didn't got to sleep until 11 or so. I thought I would let her sleep in this morning rather than waking her for a walk, because I figured she wouldn't wake up by then. Oh no, at 5:50 this morning, she cried out and when I gave her her pacifier, she realized the world was waking up and so she was going to get up too, thank you very much. I was bitter, I'll admit it.  One thing I like to guard very fiercely is my alone time in the morning before she gets up and this morning I got up later than normal and she got up earlier than normal. Not a good combo. I was grumpy, but then we were eating breakfast and I was reading my Bible and guess what? Yup, the Bible reading was aimed at me.
"It is good to give thanks to the Lord,
And to sing praises to Your name, O Most High;
To declare Your lovingkindness in the morning, 
And your faithfulness every night." Psalm 92:1-2

"In the multitude of my anxieties within me, 
Your comforts delight my soul." Psalm 94:19

Okay, well, that ought to cure my discouragement over not having any alone time this morning. These three keys fit into my theme for the year too of being joyful.

From my journal: "I have a sweet adorable little girl who I love dearly. She's sitting on my lap as I write these words, playing with papers from my Bible. But I rest my head on her head and I have to think, these days are going to pass. Soon, too soon, I will be hollering for her to get up already and to not be lazy, etc. Too soon, she will be too big, both in size and maturity to want to come snuggle on my lap. So I give her an extra kiss and resolve to sing praises, to claim God's faithfulness, to load up on patience and to live with joy this life I've been given. I have such a good life. I know I do."

And she was a happy little girl for a long time this morning. In between rubbing at her eyes, she played very nicely, which amazed me and reminded me that God does care about the little things even without me asking.

So this gives me hope to do one more day of mothering. God doesn't ask me to look ahead and take the whole year at a time, He only asks me to walk step by step, moment by moment on this journey with Him by my side. And I know I can do it. But maybe I should go have another slice of my english muffin bread first.

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