Thursday, November 13, 2014

November 13, 2014

Today is a milestone for a few different things.  First off, my sister has a birthday today.  Happy Birthday to my wonderful, caring sister who lets me call and run at the mouth about my life and my frustrations and my sadness and my tears and my triumphs and my joys.  Even though we live many miles apart and are quite a few years in age apart, I always love a good long chat on the phone as we solve the world's problems.  HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!  The Glick little girls say, "Happy Birthday, Aunt Vivian.  We can't wait to meet you!!

Today marks the 10 month mark since Nicole Brooke went to be with Jesus.  It hit me again this morning how much I miss that little girl--my little ray of sunshine she was going to be.  How can you miss someone so deeply that you never really got to meet--never really got to know?  I don't fully understand and I probably never will--I just know my arms can ache with the emptiness that should be filled and our house seems empty and devoid of life on a morning like this.  No little girl chatter--again how can you miss something you never had?  I don't know how, but I know you can.

And then, the third milestone?  Today is 24 weeks.  Today is the day that marks the "magical" date when everything will be done to keep the little "miss?" alive if she were to decide to debut early as well.  That feels like a huge milestone of joy as well, but how do you balance it all?  The bittersweetness of this day? I don't know.  This I do know.  I am trying to choose to enjoy every day I am given with this little one as an extra gift from God because I have learned the hard way that there is no guarantee.  I will also continue to miss and grieve the big sister who didn't hang around to let me make mistakes with her and do it wrong and get it right, but most of all to love her heartily.  I choose to try and walk this tightrope of grieving and rejoicing all mixed up together.

1 comment:

  1. I am blessed to share this day with your little "girls".

    ReplyDelete

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