Friday, April 5, 2013

Joy and Sorrow Meet Together

How can life be so full of joy and so bound by sorrow?  The sorrow presses down and threatens to overwhelm and the joy lifts up and causes the step to be a little lighter.  Why can't all the steps be light, fluffy, joyful steps?  I know, I know; then we wouldn't grow, but the pain, the pain, it can be so painful, so tough, so depressing.

The couple who looks forward to their baby only to find out halfway through that life has fled.  Yes, they know that the little one is in a better place, but still they grieve.  Tears threaten as I touch the little cold body, but joy can fill the heart when you think about the little girl in heaven with Jesus maybe playing with her uncle who went to heaven many years ago.

There it is: that oxymoron of grief and joy.  Somedays, you plow through life, living in joy and then something happens and you are reminded of your loss.  And yet, while you are thinking of your loss, you are thinking of heaven's gain.  When I think of all the little babies playing together in heaven, it can make a person jealous of all that quality time with good friends.

How do you balance the two?  Or can you even balance them?  Can you make sense of the grief that reduces you to tears over nothing?  How many Sunday mornings have the tears threatened during the singing?  You are fine during the week, but the weekend, oh the weekend can be so hard.  I think there has to be some happy times in the midst of grief or you would become bogged down and depressed.

And yes, I realize this is a depressing post--it's just some thoughts I have right now as I wait for the driver to pick up this couple and take them home where life is going to slap them in the face.  I can understand the denial, the non-processing--there is the grief, but I don't think it has hit home yet.  I don't think they have fully processed what they have lost.  That will come and then more tears will flow.

And yes, I just want to go home and forget.  I want to go home and party; because right now I don't want to process.  I don't want to think about grief and sadness and tears.  I don't want to evaluate what happened here today; I just want to avoid the tears and sadness.

Call me heartless; call me whatever you want.  I don't care.  Everyone grieves in their own way.

1 comment:

  1. some deep thoughts there.. I feel with you as I read.


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