Saturday, November 19, 2011

The Big Hunt

And it has arrived. The day we lived the whole year for. What is that day you ask? Why it is opening hunting season--the day all the men troop to the woods to sit around in tree stands, hunkered against the cold, waiting for that elusive buck to come across their path within shooting range. (Okay, you can breathe now) It is also the day for all the hunting "widows" to grab their purse and car keys and head off to town for a big day of shopping. (Which I am hoping will mean lots of sales from ladies with well-laden purses.)

We get up at 5:00, put on a pot of coffee that when drank (or is it drunk) curls around inside your stomach because it is no longer a liquid it is so strong. Then we gather together all the clothes we can find, and put piles of food in the back pack, grab our coffee, water jug, and gun and we are off to the woods. Now, most people maybe wouldn't take food, because, of course, the deer could smell it and then all your grand plans of shooting the big one would be thwarted. But in our house, there is a distinct advantage--we have a treehouse from which to hunt. This is situated about 30 feet or so (I have no sense of distance-it could be 10, it could be 100 feet) from the ground, fully enclosed, windows on four sides, a heater (but you daresn't run it more than necessary because you might scare the deer), a chair and so on. It really is a hunter's paradise.

Do I go out and join in the mighty hunt? I have, but I will be honest. I make a poor hunting companion. I went out one opening hunting morning because I am a good, supportive wife and I was a grump. I know I was and for that I feel bad. I would try to do better if I repeated the process. It was early--I was tired--I was cold. So I curled up on the floor in a sleeping bag and grumbled and wanted the heater on and got cold and probably wanted to talk and was shushed repeatedly. I did go out on another occasion when it was light and I could see and I think I did a little better that time. Will I go out this year? I plan to, after the initial thrill is off and I no longer have to wash my clothes in special soap and dry them with nature's fabric softener, etc. etc.

Why did I not go out this morning? Because I have plans today. I am planning to go and pick the pockets of all those hunting widows who are coming to town to shop. I am participating in a craft show in town and I am hoping to sell lots of things. Now, I have practical things to sell, like baby blankets and dishcloths and dish scrubbies, etc. I am going armed with date balls (No, I didn't send any with the guys because I wanted them for myself or for my friend who told me if D ate them all she wouldn't make him any PB snowballs, so I have been guarding them with threats and fists because I want some PB snowballs), cheese and crackers and deer meat and morning glory muffins, and cookies and so on and on.

And so I wish the mighty hunters great success. I hope my nephew is as tough as he thinks he is and that he doesn't freeze going with such few clothes on and I hope they shoot the mighty buck. Come on guys, I want to try making some lebanon bologna. And I pray their safety. Guns and hunting season can be a little nerve wracking, though they are hunting on private property and I am really not worried about them--only the irresponsible people surrounding them or the people that have been enjoying the road shoot this year already.

And to you all, Have a great day. I'll be back later to post pics of the big buck.

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