Sunday, August 7, 2011

Love in the Dr. Office and other Clinic stories

I think there's a story I promised you a while back of something that happened at work. Now, I realize this blog doesn't have a wide readership at this point, but I just wonder for those who read it, what your husband would have done.

It's 5:30 on a Tuesday evening. The time for the lady's prenatal appt. However, she is late, which is not unusual. She normally is, but then about 5:50, this man comes up to the counter, kind of leans on the counter and says, "My wife needs some help; she's having it." I don't recognize the man and my mind doesn't fully process what is going on. After further questioning, I realize he is saying that the 5:30 appt has arrived and Tillie (fictional name) is about to or has had her baby. I summon the doctor and grab some supplies and we head out to see Tillie in the back seat of the van trying to hide her baby. The van is full; they brought two children along, her sister is with her with her two children, plus the driver and the couple. The sister is herding the two oldest children into the clinic and hoping the rest of them are oblivious to what is going on. And the smell; I cannot describe for you the smell. I am not sure what the lady had been eating or drinking or supplementing, but it was an awful smell. I take the baby into the clinic through a door held open to me by a poor gentleman who I am sure went home with a story to tell. (We were glad he came for the pills and not the 17 year old that needed them.) Kerra is left with the job of trying to clean the van up a bit and the poor driver is just shell shocked. She looked like she totally didn't quite comprehend what had just happened. So for all you ladies out there. When the contractions start, don't just assume that you can keep going with your day because you are busy and don't have time to go in to the doctor; take the time to make sure you are not in regular labor. Maybe also hire a driver who can drive speed limit too, because if she had made it on time, she would have had the baby inside the clinic. When they came in for the postpartum check up, either it was a different driver or the driver had gotten a new van.

Now on to the title: Earlier this week or last week, we had two drivers sitting in the waiting room. Now that is not that unusual except today the old man took to telling stories--loud stories to the older lady driver. We kept an eye on them and we were pretty sure she was starting to get mesmerized by the stories he was telling. She would look intently at him; she didn't speak; she didnt need to. Now granted our assumptions are purely fictional, but .... We figured when we write our book about life in the clinic, we would need to include a chapter on finding romance in the waiting room.

Probably one of the funnier things that happened this week that had Kerra and I in stitches was an older lady and her chattiness. She woke up one night and her world was going round and round and round and round. She told this to me, to the doctor and I don't know who all. So she needed to do a urine sample. Showed her what to do and told her instructions are on the wall. No kidding, she read those instructions out loud. She was in the bathroom with the door closed and we could hear her back at our desks. We laughed so hard. I believe she finished round 1, then started in with round 2 reading them all over again. She had been told to take her time and it was a good thing, because taking her time is what she did. But eventually she got the job done and I just hope she didn't dream clean catch instructions that evening.

What is a normal temp? I talked to a lady this last week, who had been running a fever of 97.9. I gently tried to tell her that that wasn't a fever. She was 70 some years old and had thought that normal temperature was 96 something. I really hope I didn't traumatize her too badly with the realization that she had been wrong on this for a long time.

Okay, I think I have about finished with stories from my week. I do have a post in my head and on my phone that would be a little more inspiring than this one, but I don't think I want to do 2 posts in one day.

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