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I feel like I should be posting something about Co-Vid 19, something profound, something noteworthy or at least something funny.  But I have nothing. Well, maybe that's not true. I did write something recently, something I call "The Blog Post that Will Never Be." It was raw and painful, but it was a way for me to process my thoughts.

I realized something recently after reading "Thriving in Love and Money" by Jeff and Shaunti Feldhahn. (I highly recommend that book, by the way.)  As women, we tend to process externally and immediately, but men need space and time and can't think when we are going on and on about whatever issue is at hand. While I can process internally, I do tend to do best when I can talk about things. It helps me to verbalize it and that is what the blog post was, I think, the written processing of my internal thoughts.  So I want to do better at being patient and waiting without growing frustrated.

I also realized recently that some people do not carry on conversations in their head. This is a completely foreign concept to me. I will have long and lengthy conversations in my heads: arguing and winning arguments, planning my next day, thinking about  my dreams for the future, etc. etc.  But I listened to a podcast where the host said that in order to figure out wording or something, she will start an email and write it out so she can figure out what to say.  I'm blown away by this. Can anyone else relate? Please do share if you can because I want to know more.

So we are at home these days and truthfully, I don't really mind. I feel no obligation to have company, to go anywhere, to even go shopping. The part that I find more frustrating is that I am not getting more done, but rather less. Since my only form of social life is via my phone, I am on that a lot more and that automatically slows down production. D is home more and so I go outside and help him a bit more. But mostly I am just more distracted, distracted by Instagram, by the news, even by a bit of worry, if I'm honest. How is this all going to play out? What is going to happen by next month this time? Am I going to get CoVid-19 and will I survive it or will my family survive it, etc?  While the fear is real, I can't let it grab a hold of me and make me a victim. I still can be in charge of my attitude. I can choose to trust God and to let Him be in control.  And I can work to control the controllables and to not make decisions based on fear and panic.

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