Raising the Challenging Child by Karen Doyle Buckwalter, Debbie Reed, and Wendy Lyons Sunshine

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Raising The Challenging Child

How to Minimize Meltdowns, Reduce Conflict, and Increase Cooperation

I started reading this book pretty cynically, thinking this was going to be all about talking in the right tone of voice and feeling like my child would walk all over me because I couldn't actually give consequences for bad behavior.  And if I would just talk right my children would all listen.

Yes, there was definitely an emphasis on changing the way you talk to a child, but there was so much more too. Respond instead of react. Hear what they are saying. Put the phone down and give the child your full attention. Apologize if you make a mistake. Instead of just telling them to stop it and grow up, use kindness and try to understand what they are feeling. Look what's behind your own reactions.

I finished this book at the beginning of a potentially hairy week. I had a good conversation with a friend about different styles of parenting and I finished this book and I tried to be more understanding with my five year old this week and we both had a really good week. I think God knew I was going to need some help and so he prompted me to read and to heed and I'm glad I did.

Another very comforting thing they said in the book was this: "Children need a 'good enough' parent, not a perfect parent Some people may offer unsolicited advice. Don't focus on them! Your parenting is not about them or their opinions."

"A child needs kindness the most in times when we least want to give it because of their behavior."

This is a book I should probably reread at various points in this parenting journey. My children are still young and fairly easy to talk to and guide, but in a few years we will be at a different phase of parenting. I don't think it will be a bad phase, but a different phase, with different challenges and I might need the refresher course.

I did enjoy the book and am happy to report that it has helped my parenting, for at least one week!!!

I received this book from Revell and was not required to write a positive review.  All opinions expressed are my own.

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