Three Already

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Dear daughter,

Today you are three. How can that be? Just a short, short time ago we were waiting and wondering when you would come and what you would look like and now here we are three years later. And we are so blessed to have you in our lives.

You are three, now what? I feel like there is so much to teach you, so many life lessons to impart and I feel pressure, how can I get it all done and get it done right? How can I instill in you that God loves you supremely and He is the One I want you to love with all your heart? And deep inside, I know the answer. The answer is to love God myself. How can I expect you to learn to know and experience God if you do not see me, your mom, seeking to know and experience God on a daily basis?

This is what presses down on me. I have only one life, just a few short years, to do it and I want so badly to be a good mom. I want so badly to do it right. I want to have that relationship with you that brings you back to me year after year after year, asking me the questions about life and love. I want to be the "expert" in your life as you navigate the sea of school and teen years and adulthood. I want to be your confidante. But I feel the pressure, how do I accomplish this?

I love you my dear little girl. Yes, sometimes you exasperate and frustrate me, more times than I would like, but you bring me such joy too. Your constant "why" gets hard to deal with sometimes, but I want you to bring me your big "whys" someday so I will try to be patient as I deal with the "whys" of today. But then when I hear you say to your dad, "Tell me a Jesus story", my heart swells and I rejoice that you love these stories. Or I hear you playing Sunday School and telling a Bible story, even if it is a little skewed at times.

So today you are three. You are such a sponge, soaking up what's thrown your way, whether it's Bible verses, stories, or silly duck songs. Your little brain retains and remembers and spews things back out that surprise me that you would know. I love how you play with your imaginary friends and I love how you love your little brother. Nobody can make him laugh like you can. I hope you will be best buddies growing up.

And so to my little girl, happy birthday. Maybe this is the year you will realize that you will only get bigger, that you will never be a little baby again. That is how it is meant to be, but sometimes even I wish to have you as my little tiny baby again, just for a few minutes, just to snuggle (ha, like you ever really liked snuggling) tight and hold you close. But that time is gone and so for now I want to enjoy this next year of your life to the fullest. I was to teach you and be taught by you to live and love and laugh and enjoy life.

God was so good when He blessed us with you.

Love you,

Your Mom.


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