Unexpecting by Rachel Lewis

 

real talk on pregnancy loss

I'm not quite sure how to start this book review.  Two chapters into the book, this is what I said, "This is the book I wish I would have had nine years ago after my first miscarriage. I'm only two chapters in and, while time has lessened the feelings, I can relate so much."

Rachel shares her experiences with miscarriages and also snippets from many others and it all blends together to create this book. There are four sections to the book: loss, lament, love, and legacy. Rachel would hold that there is no wrong way to grieve and I do agree with that as a concept. I think individually, we can get off track at times. I know I did and I went down the route of self-pity, which, I suppose, could be argued that that was not grieving. However, overall, everyone grieves differently and we need to give each other room for those differences and show compassion and seek to understand as best as we can.

Where this book started to lose me is in the inclusive nature that Rachel tried to show throughout this book. She wanted to include everyone, no matter their faith or if they even had any faith, to try to help them process their grief. This was supposed to be a Christian book and I found God sadly missing. And to me, the only thing that can help me cope with the loss of my babies is God and the comfort He provides through His Word and through the promise of seeing my babies again. This book seemed largely to lift yourself up by your own bootstraps, to do what is right for you, and all other people need to get on board with you and support you. 

And so, while there was so much good in this book, I would hesitate to recommend it to anyone who has lost a baby, simply because I find the most important aspect of grief missing, the comfort that Jesus brings. She does have a small section on faith where she talks about her struggle and you get the idea she came out with a reliance on God, but she wants to make room for others to grapple with their own beliefs whatever they may be. For me, I'm not comfortable with that.

I received this book from Bethany House and was not required to write a positive review.  All opinions expressed are my own.