The Kindness Challenge by Shaunti Feldhahn

Thirty days to Improve any Relationship

If you don't want to be convicted about improving your kindness quotient, don't read this book. There are three elements to this challenge. Number one, you may not say anything negative to or about the person you are doing the challenge for. Number two, you need to say something positive to the person you trying to be kind to and to someone else about that person. Number three, you need to do one kind act a day for that person.

Reading through this book, I have been made aware of how critical and negative I can be and how much I can feel the need to correct things that I view as "wrong". It has challenged me to think, think, think before I speak. I am convinced if more of us would do this kindness challenge, the world would be a better place and there would be better relationships all around.

Shaunti has done extensive research and surveys on this and a huge majority have stated the difference it has made in themselves, in the relationship they are trying to improve and in the other person as well.

To quote part of what Shaunti quoted, "I've had many issues in my own marriage, in my own life. I know it works. Your choice starts the process. I told you, 'You have to start somewhere, and this is it. You have to be receptive, forgiving, and kind.' She said, 'But it's not changing him!' And I said, 'You're right. But it is changing you. And the change in your heart has the ability to change the atmosphere in the room. And then that changes his heart. Almost every time." This was in context of a woman saying she can't forgive her husband. The lady told that yes she was right, she couldn't because she was running on empty. She needed the Holy Spirit to help her. That is so true for all of us. I need to let the Holy Spirit do a work in my life and choose to allow Him to lead me and guide me and teach me to speak kindness and to be quiet at times.

So if you are looking for a life-changing, relationship-building new year's resolution, I would recommend reading this book and trying this challenge. There is a chapter dedicated to an alternative element for husbands that includes really listening to their spouse and staying in the game during an uncomfortable exchange longer than they would normally. I didn't read the chapter. I heard once that when reading things like this, don't read what the husband is supposed to do because it can make you discontent and so I chose not to read that chapter. When we're talking kindness, my husband beats me 10 to 1 every time. At the back of the book there is a section of tips for wives doing the challenge for their husbands, husbands doing the challenge for their wives, and for anyone doing the challenge for someone other than their spouse.

There is also a website Join the Kindness Challenge that offers assessments, surveys, etc. Beings the book does not release until December 20th, the website doesn't look like it is totally up and running yet.

I am definitely going to put more effort into nixing the negative in my life. I know I need a lot of help in this area.

This book was given me by Blogging for Books. I am not obligated to write a positive review.