Randomness

-


My mind has been rolling over the last 24 hours. We are almost done with 2015 and what have I accomplished? I, all of a sudden, feel driven to do something, to be the wonder woman who is scheduled and organized and calm and cheerful about it all. How do I do that?

I ran across the idea yesterday again of having a word for the year: a word to focus on and try to live after. I keep thinking about what that word should be for me and if I'm committed enough to do it. On top of that, there are so many things I feel I should be focusing on and trying to do better in that one word feels insufficient. There's the word joy, but doesn't everyone want that. What about gratitude? Well, yeah, it's good to be thankful. Love? Ouch, I need that, but a whole year? Rest? That seems to be a driving force to a new group of thinkers out there and I'm not sure I agree, so don't know if I want to go there. Don't get me wrong. Rest is good, but not if comes at the expense of relationships and family and even finances. Rest is not good if it means protecting myself at the expense of others. Anyway, enough on that. Beauty? Well, again that seems to be a hitch to ride on as well, to be beautiful and attractive and etc. etc. My thoughts behind that word would have nothing to do with me and my physical looks. The challenger in me would like to pick that word to show people that there is so much more to beauty than looking attractive, but I'm sure they realize that too, if they are honest with themselves. 

I realized today that in the next month, we will have the 3rd birthday of my miscarriage and the 2nd birthday of Nicole. In the last 3 years, I have lost at least 4 people precious to me: two children, a dad, and a good friend. I have felt loose-ended and irritable a lot of those three years. I have been selfish and self-centered with brief relapses out into the world. I have been difficult to get along with, I know. My man has been very patient with me. I'm trying, but right now, I'm not doing that great at it. I let little things bug me. I don't know why I'm not into Christmas this year, but I'm not. So I don't go to the cookie exchange, I'm not making a single batch of Christmas cookies. I did decorate and enjoyed it and surprised myself a little. I have played a few Christmas carols, but haven't dug out the Christmas CD's. I did get Christmas presents taken care of.  And I am sitting here caught up on my list of things I wanted to get done in December. I have one or two things left on my list and that makes me happy. But I feel a need for focus, a need for some goals, a need for self-discipline. I don't like to hole away in my little world. I like people, I really do. Yes, they tire me out sometimes and sometimes with a baby who doesn't always nap the best away from home, gatherings are just not worth it, but there are other ways I can reach out and I want to. 

So I said all this to say this, I want to have focus and purpose this year, but I also need to work on being flexible and caring. Flexible, maybe that should be the word. We all know I need help in that. I'm not sure what the word will be, but whatever it is, I plan to have a few blog posts that follow that word throughout the year. 

Things like this excite me. I love goals and planning schedules and etc. etc. Now, if only I could do as good at following through on them, we would be all set to go. 

But enough of that, how about some cuteness for your day and then a little project that I did for Amber's Christmas. 



You were working here Mom? Really? But don't I just need to be here too? I like to help you work. 
 Hat lady.

And lastly a board book of Amber's Family that doesn't live around here.

We started with this





















And ended with this. I'm quite happy with it except it doesn't lay nice and closed because of the extra space the pictures take up, but I don't think Amber is going to care. I modge podged over the pictures too to give them a little more authenticity and to protect them a little more.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Fragrant Whiffs of Joy by Dorcas Smucker (It's Giveaway time)

-
Image
Ah yes, this was just what the doctor ordered. I've wanted to review Dorcas' last book or two and was always too chicken to ask, but this time I threw caution to the wind and said, "Yes, I want to review your book." And I'm so glad I did. It was the perfect book for this stage in my life. Short, easy to read chapters that can be picked up and read whenever and wherever. They are guaranteed to either make you laugh, smile, cry, or or just give you that ah-ha feeling that someone else experiences life like that too.  I could quote from pretty much every chapter something that struck me in one of those ways, but I really want you to go buy the book so I won't do that many spoilers. I only want to give you a hint of what is to come in the book. First off, isn't the cover beautiful? I can dream of a kitchen table like that with the apple pie still steaming and the tea pot, or coffee pot more likely, full to the brim and a beautiful arrangement of flowers ...
Read more

All the Pretty Things by Edie Wadsworth

-
Image
I haven't posted a book review in over two weeks, I must be lazing off!!! Actually, I had two books going at once and also read a non-review book in between. Not that I think anyone missed me or anything. But just to be clear, I am back and have about six books to review in the next few weeks. Okay, "All the Pretty Things". When I started this book, I loved it. I thought it was an amazing story and it is. Edie was born to an alcoholic father. She rarely saw him sober, but she loved him and enabled him until his dying day. She missed that father figure in her life and attempted to salve that wound by working hard at everything she put her hand to except her marriage. She was raised in rather extreme poverty. Her parents divorced and both remarried, but divorced again. She was abused as a child, though it became a repressed memory that came out through recurring nightmares. She was introduced to Jesus and would often respond to altar calls to make sure she was saved. Sh...
Read more

PRECIOUS CHILD

-
In my dreams, you are alive and well Precious child, precious child In my mind, I see you clear as a bell Precious child, precious child In my soul, there is a hole That can never be filled But in my heart, there is hope 'Cause you are with me still In my heart, you live on Always there never gone Precious child, you left too soon Tho' it may be true that we're apart You will live forever... in my heart In my plans, I was the first to leave Precious child, precious child But in this world, I was left here to grieve Precious child, my precious child In my soul, there is a hole That can never be  filled But in my heart there is hope And you are with me still In my heart you live on Always there, never gone Precious child, you left too soon,  Tho' it may be true that we're apart You will live forever... in my heart God knows I want to hold you,  See you, touch you And maybe there's a heaven And someday I will again Please know yo...
Read more